Choice: Do you choose love or fear?
Happy New Year to you! We are well and truly into the throws of 2014 and I have a feeling this year is going to be full of big and beautiful experiences for all of us.
I have always loved the start of a new year; to me it’s a reflection of a fresh start where anything and everything is possible, a clean slate if you will. That said we couldn’t embark upon a new year without reflecting on the year that just was and boy did I have a huge twenty-thirteen.
I must apologise to you my beautiful tribe for not giving you the best of myself last year. I desperately wanted to and thought I could, without realising just how much was going on around me and internally which resulted in my energy being very scattered and displaced. I often felt like I was making enormous leaps and bounds to only then have something catapult me in the other direction.
One of my core principles in my health and life coaching is vulnerability; because without honesty and openness, we deny ourselves the beautiful ability to help others and vice versa. Why? Because when we shy away from our truth and how we really feel at our core we are not living authentically, lovingly or spiritually aligned.
It’s all well and good to say these things but when it comes to living them, it can be a different story, which is why it’s only fair that I too be vulnerable, and reveal my journey last year with you.
Twenty-thirteen saw me through an abundance of challenges, emotional upheavals and deep change, and it is only upon reflection of all the happenings of last year that I realised why I had no energy or time to dedicate to what I really wanted to because all of my mental, emotional, and physical capacity was thrown into what I refer to as a ‘never ending emotional rollercoaster.’
So here goes…full disclosure…no holding back or shying away from the truth.
Early in the year I made a big career change (partly forced, partly choice) with a very unpleasant exit from the corporate world; I found out my Mum had breast cancer whilst still grieving the death of my step mum who passed away the year before from the same disease, I watched my Dad continue to grieve the loss of his soul mate, one of my sisters gave birth to a premature baby who passed away fifteen days later, people I have known practically my whole life drifted away, I started a part-time job so I could focus on building my health & life coaching business only to then be sacked from that job for taking two sick days because I had conjunctivitis (I kid you not), I found out that one of my flat mates was moving out and as if this wasn’t enough for one year already…my partner (who I thought was the ‘one’ for me) and I broke up two weeks before Christmas which left my heart broken, bruised and bleeding.
I don’t divulge this information for attention or sympathy, but to serve as a reminder to everyone that life is so very fragile and precious. To encourage you to deeply appreciate the beauty that exists in your life because it is there if you can see beyond the hurt and pain.
At times the pain and grief of all these things I experienced and witnessed is almost too much too bare, but I tune into the present moment and am super grateful for every good thing that comes my way.
Bad things, tragic things are going to confront you when you least expect them, but know you WILL get through them and better days will come your way.
Like I said, last year was a BIG year for me but it wasn’t all-bad, not at all.
Amidst the noise and chaos, I became an Auntie again to the most precious baby girl, I found out my Mum’s cancer no longer resides in her body, I watched my nephew continue to grow into such a beautiful, smart and funny boy, I gained a lot of clarity about what I do and don’t want in my life, I started making money from my passion, relationships in my life strengthened through the break down of other ones, I was reminded of just how damn strong and resilient I am, I have big beautiful memories of wonderful times with my ex and they can never be taken away from me, I had so many soul fulfilling conversations with new and old friends, I delved deeper into my spiritual path, I had fun weekend getaways, and was still able to to enjoy myself and my life.
I have always been a big believer that everything happens for a reason, even though it’s hard to understand the reason why sometimes. I know in my heart there is a purpose bigger than any of us ever realise as to why things happen the way they do.
We all have a choice: we can either let the painful and hard times in our lives define us and destroy our spirit (fear) or we can allow them to crack us wide open so we can embrace life with an open heart and mind to experience everything life has to offer in a much bigger, better and happier way (love).
For me the choice is a no brainer. Which are you going to choose?