Grown women don’t actually do this, right? Right?!
Being a women sometimes is hard enough, not to mention when we add unnecessary and unwarranted pressure on ourselves.
If you’re anything like me, you need help from time to time. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Asking for help isn’t something that comes naturally to many people, and I used to be one of them. I wanted to prove I could do everything on my own, stand on my own two feet and be a really independent woman (hello big ol’ pride, right?).
Thankfully, I’ve changed my ways and now openly ask for help when needed.
If I feel some problems are getting the better of me or are making me bang my head against the wall – in my business, in my personal life, my emotions, or curly circumstances that throw me for a loop, I have no problem saying so and reaching out for help.
Asking for help can look and feel different for everyone.
It might look a little something like this: asking a friend for advice about your love life, asking for financial help from a trusted advisor to help you get ‘back on top’, asking your partner to help around the house with those pesky domestic duties, hiring a coach to help you get on top of the overwhelm or confusion you feel, or to help you bring your blog and business dreams to life; asking someone to give you a lift somewhere, hiring a babysitter to look after your kids, getting someone to review your work to ensure there are no errors, asking someone to hold your spot in the queue…the list is endless.
Help is indefinable; limitless.
Help is a beautiful thing.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of or view as weak, yet I chat to many people who often feel as though they are drowning – whether it be at home, at work, in their personal relationships, getting their business or health goals and dreams off the ground, and so on. When I simply ask them if they’ve reached out for help, I usually get one of two answers:
1:: ‘It’s ok, I’ll be alright’
2:: ‘Ask for help? No, I couldn’t possibly.’
I don’t know what it is about us human beings that makes us so darn righteous when it comes to asking for help (I know, I know, I used to be one of them).
I think there’s a multitude of reasons why people don’t reach out for help: wanting to handle everything on our own so we feel capable, strong, independent, to avoid ‘burdening’ other people, not knowing where to, or how to ask for help or worse, that we don’t realise we actually need help.
People don’t always (read: rarely) feel comfortable asking for help.
People don’t know how to ask for help.
People battle through their problems hoping and praying they’ll get better – meanwhile enduring such stress, overwhelm and suffering.
People think about asking for help, and then don’t.
I’ve had clients confess that they wanted to work with me for some time but it taking them a lot of courage to actually reach out and ask for my help.
I salute them for getting there in the end – absolutely, but this serves as a reminder of how much people hesitate to ask for and resist getting help even though they know they want or need it.
When I’ve asked why they resisted even though they knew they wanted or needed help, majority of the time the answer was always along the lines of:
‘I’m embarrassed to ask for help’
‘I should be able to work through this on my own.’
‘Grown women don’t actually ask for help, right?’ (Cra-zy, with a capital ‘C’, right?!)
For me personally, I’ve learnt that even when I ask for help, I am still an independent woman. I can still stand on my own two feet; reaching out to people doesn’t take away from that.
As for being able to do everything on my own? Perhaps I could, but the truth of the matter is that I no longer want to.
Trying to do everything all on our own, all the time is exhausting.
I see the beauty in reciprocity.
I see the collective healing that is created in our world when we reach out to one another and help each other.
I see the difference a little (or a lot of) help can make in another person’s life – I witness this every single time I’m coaching a client when a metaphoric light bulb switches on within them, or when they breathe a sigh of relief because they feel understood, or when they finally let go of self-sabotaging thoughts or habits that hold them back from living their greatest life.
Through helping one another – hand in hand, heart-to-heart – we are consciously and positively co-creating a better world.
Both giving and receiving help is a gift.
Giving help is such a joy: the sense of purpose it gives people, to be needed and wanted, valued and contributing to others.
Receiving help is such a joy: to know you aren’t alone, but rather supported. To feel the load lighten and burden of life’s responsibilities lessen.
HELP. Is it what you need?
If this post has stirred something within you, or you’ve thought about reaching out for help, this might be just what you need.
Help me help you.