Recently I read a beautiful article by uber successful writer and speaker, Alexandra Franzen titled ‘Please don’t cancel’ where she mentions how she nearly turned down a huge speaking gig once because she thought she was ‘a little too chubby’ at the time.
It reminded me how as women we often hold ourselves back from putting ourselves out there, from being seen, from sharing our uniqueness and gifts with the world – no matter how successful or accomplished we are – because of those pesky (untrue) voices inside of our heads trying to sabotage us…
‘You couldn’t possibly do that, who do you think you are?’
‘Someone else will do it better, there’s no point trying’
‘You don’t deserve that, don’t set yourself up for disappointment’
‘As if you’ve got the confidence to put yourself out there like that’
‘You don’t look the part, you don’t know enough, you’ve failed at that before’…
..and on and on it nitpicks and tries to keep us small and prevent us from creating the life we desire and deserve.
I’ve had my fair share of moments like these, and then some:
+ Nearly saying no to invitations to present seminars to large corporate companies, because, ‘Who do you think you are, Nic?‘
+ Nearly not enrolling in incredible courses or signing up to work with coaches, because ‘do you deserve to invest in yourself like that? Do you really need that? What will others think?!’
+ Nearly not stating my wants and needs in relationships, because ‘that’s so “selfish”, you’ll end up single and alone if you speak your truth.’
+ Nearly not starting a business, launching a website, coaching clients, entering into fitness challenges because, ‘what if you fail and look like an idiot.’
Thankfully, in all of these cases I didn’t let my inner critic and saboteur call the shots.
I dug deep, connected within and reminded myself that we create our own reality every-single-day and asked myself the all important question (and always try to),
‘What would love do?’
Love would support whatever decision we make.
Love would find a way.
Love would acknowledge the fear within us, and then silence it.
Love would remind us that there is no failure, only further learning to or knowledge to be acquired.
Love would hold us in its loving arms and nurture us.
Love would invite us to look within.
Love would move us from self-doubt to self-love.
Love would transition us from comparison to celebration.
Love would remind us that the brain responds to what we tell it (tell it good, positive things!).
Love would move us forward, inward and upward.
A reminder to you, LOVEly, unique you…
You are like no other. Own this.
You deserve to let your light shine. What lights you up? Do this often.
You have incredible gifts within you that are waiting to be brought to life. What is pulling at your heart strings? What is calling to you, asking you to give it some love and attention?
You have and are love, always. How do you practice loving your wonderful self? Remember, when your cup is full, that goodness is going to flow out to everyone around you.
Love is kind. Compassionate. Forgiving. Freeing. Practice these on yourself ’cause I promise they’ll feel so good!
Self-love is the first and most important love of all.
Confidence is your most valuable asset. Rock it.
Just as you would train a muscle regularly to make it stronger, think of self-love a muscle that requires dedicated and consistent effort too. It’s a daily practice – and with practice, the more you learnt to flex it, the stronger it will become and the more it will grow.
In any situation, kindly remember to ask yourself, ‘what would love do?’ You’ll be amazed at how it responds.
‘What are the voices inside your head trying to tell you every day about yourself? In this very moment, in fact?’ Share with us in the comments below.