I started writing this piece a few weeks back and as I read over it again recently I remembered once more just how powerful our thoughts are and, more importantly how manifestation can come to fruition in all kinds of ways, especially in ways we might not have imagined.
I was nearly ready to post this article but due to further developments in my life I knew I had to write more. I aim to cap my articles at a certain word limit, but this piece is very near and dear to my heart so I’m allowing that limit to be stretched and hope you’ll come along with me for the ride. After all, rules are made to be broken.
I used to think I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, be a successful businesswoman; dress in fancy suits and feel uber important. I thought that was the way for me to make it in this life and be happy (sigh).
Over the years I’ve bounced around in different jobs, with my average length of employment in a company being around the two-year mark, thinking that was a pretty good effort. But then I always got to a point where I felt unhappy, stuck and confused, without really knowing why (or at least I didn’t allow myself to admit why).
I have met some wonderful people throughout those jobs, some of which have become great friends and will remain so. I felt blessed to work at those companies due the ‘perks’ that were attached; flexibility was provided (to a degree), the salary package was pretty comfortable and allowed me to have an enjoyable lifestyle, I travelled interstate and internationally for work, was wined and dined and made to feel like ‘YES! This is the life.’
Nowadays I look at where I am in my life including what I want in and for my life now and in the future, and reflect upon those old notions and think, are you flippin’ kidding me? I thought that was the life? I thought that was how to be happy?! Being chained to a desk for the better part of the day, stuck in an air-conditioned, fluorescent lit, clinical looking square space, told when to take your lunch break, made to feel like you can never fully let your guard down or be yourself because you’re in a corporate setting and heaven forbid if you talk about your real dreams and passions…
I’ll admit it may seem odd or contradictory that I write this piece while currently still working in a 9-5, aforementioned fluorescent lit office, but you know what?
I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to anymore, and haven’t for some time. I don’t want THAT life.
I don’t want to wake up one morning when I am old and grey (knowing me, still with a head full of hair) and look back at my life and realise for the larger part of my existence I was doing something that made me unhappy, unmotivated, lackluster and all for what? So my tombstone reads,
Worked in the corporate sector for ‘X’ years
Regretted it until this day.
Passed away dull and miserable.”
NO WAY! It will read something along the lines of,
Lived and breathed her dreams & passions, whilst helping others to achieve theirs
Her life was AMAZING with no regrets
Will be dancing to the music underground”
The aforementioned dull and lackluster existence I spoke of? No thank you. It doesn’t serve me well, it doesn’t feed my soul, and it doesn’t make me authentically happy. What do I mean by authentically happy?
I mean the kind of happiness that really sets your heart alight, that awesome feeling you get when you know you’re on the path to greatness and doing something that you were put on this earth to do, those moments when something insides of you says ‘yes, you can do this – go for it. This is what you’ve been waiting for.’ Times when you’re having an awe-inspiring conversation with someone about how you’re going to change the world one coconut water at a time…
To me that’s real, authentic happiness.
It certainly isn’t when you’re turning up to a mundane job knowing full well you don’t want to be there, just going through the motions day in, day out, having a conversation with someone that really isn’t doing anything to make you feel more alive or inspired.
‘But Nikki,’ some of you might say, ‘surely you can’t expect to feel alive and inspired all the time?’
Well actually yes I can, and so can you. Why the heck not? Who are you and who am I to not be BRILLIANT, FABULOUS AND INSPIRED? What’s the alternative? Going through life feeling mediocre, dull and drained?
This reminds me of one of my all time favourite quotes by the beautiful and spiritual Marianne Williamson. Her words absolutely speak to my core and resonate deep within me:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ”
I want to turn up, show up and shine every single day because I choose to, not because I have to, because I’m ‘working for the man’ or because that’s what is (scarily) considered the ‘norm.’
NO. I want to be the kind of woman that when my feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says “Oh crap, she’s up!”
I no longer want to climb the corporate ladder. I want to climb my own, one step at a time in the direction of my dreams, not someone else’s. I will not fear falling down, as I know I will get back on that ladder and climb higher than the last time taking an invaluable lesson with me I forgot on my last journey.
I now know what I want to do. I want to coach, inspire and enrich others. I want to guide people to live happier, healthier and more abundant lives. I want to surround myself with people who enrich and inspire me too. I’m going to enrich and inspire MYSELF!
I say I now know what I want to do, but truth be told I have known for sometime, it’s just been buried deep within me, hiding under a pile of fear, self-doubt and uncertainty.
Whilst I am still at my corporate job, I have been taking consistent steps to move closer towards the life I want to live. Sometimes I don’t realise how much I’ve achieved until I write it down.
In the last month alone I have signed up to do an entrepreneurial business course, on top of the health-coaching course I studying, I have started coaching people and have received beautiful feedback, I have put myself in a situation where I not only got to meet, but hug people who I absolutely look up to (Jess Ainscough to name one), I have continuously met more and more like-minded people who want to spread the same message to the world as I do, I have stood up for myself in more than one way despite being scared to do so, I have said ‘yes’ to daunting but exciting opportunities, I have created a kick-ass vision board (because I know the power of putting things out there), I have been challenged, stretched in different directions, put out of my comfort zone (where the magic happens)… and the list goes on.
Whether small or big, it doesn’t matter – they are all steps in the direction of my desires and destiny.
I have also learnt INVALUABLE LESSONS:
I have learnt that someone else does not dictate what true flexibility is, I do ~ I have learnt that money is not the be all and end all ~ I have learnt that swallowing your dreams and passions for fear of how you will look or for fear of making other people feel small is detrimental, self sabotaging, and not to mention downright ridiculous ~ I have learnt the so-called enjoyable lifestyle I was enabled to have was not so enjoyable. Being able to ‘enjoy’ life only two set days a week is not really enjoying life ~ I have learnt that I don’t have to wear fancy suits and work in a corporate setting to be a successful businesswoman ~ I have learnt that life is too damn special to NOT follow my passions and heart ~ I have learnt that the only thing that confines us from doing what we want in life are the limitations we put on ourselves ~ I have learnt that life is too darn short to work for someone or in an environment that belittles and robs us of happiness ~ I have learnt that there is beauty in everything but not everyone sees it ~ I have learnt that the most wonderful things in life are not things ~ I have learnt to look at things through the perspective of ‘go for it – what’s the worst that can happen?’ – I have learnt that every one has a story to tell and we shouldn’t close the book before we really understand what it’s all about ~ I have learnt that people in your life who you love and trust will inevitably hurt you, disappoint you and let you down at some point – but that doesn’t stop me from loving openly, freely and generously ~ I have learnt that I will NEVER stop learning and growing every single day…
At the beginning of this article I spoke about how powerful our thoughts are and how manifestation can come to us in all sorts of ways and here’s the very crux of it all.
Months ago I put it out there to the universe that I didn’t want to work in a 9-5 corporate setting in a job that I wasn’t passionate about. I put it out there that I didn’t want that life. In fact more than saying it, I wrote it down here, in print. I told other people, I told myself over and over. I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall continuously (it’s no coincidence I had a headache for days). I cried, felt broken, bruised inside.
Now here’s the thing, unbeknown to me at the time the wheels were already in motion, I just didn’t recognise it because the wheels were muddy, stained and turning ever so slowly.
The past few months I have been going through an uphill battle in my current environment. I have been faced with some pretty large and serious challenges. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have had to deal with false accusations, dishonesty and bullying from a person in a position of authority and seniority.
I have been through anger, frustration, sadness, and resentment. I have cried, and cried, and laughed. Laughed at the universe for how it manifested my plea of not wanting to be in that environment anymore.
I have had to decide whether to take the high road (higher risks, perhaps higher rewards) or the cowardly road (the easier and perhaps safer route). Sounds like an easy choice but to some not so much.
I could look at this experience and berate the whole thing and ask ‘why, why did this happen to me?’ But that would be absolutely pointless now wouldn’t it? I already know why this happened…it’s because I asked for it. I asked for it the minute I got clear on what I wanted and put it out there to the universe. Remember, when you get clear, really clear on what you want out of life, the universe has an unwavering commitment to deliver it to you.
Sure my current situation is less that pleasant but manifestation does not discriminate between bright or dull, big or small, hard or easy. It sees a way to deliver something to you, something that you asked for, begged for even, and it soars ahead with it.
FYI I chose the higher road. I absolutely believe with my hand on my heart that we are all presented with moments in life, sometimes monumental moments, where we can step up, show life who’s boss and be loud and proud or we can shy awake like a shrinking violet and continue through life that way and wonder why we never get the life we so desire. Don’t be the latter.
Just days ago I finally QUIT MY CORPORATE JOB! I did it with dignity, I did it with pride, I did it with absolute conviction of my beliefs and went after what I knew I deserved and got exactly that.
I’m finally FREE! I’m lighter, I’m happier; I’m my own boss and creator or my destiny.
Now that I’ve reached the peak of that uphill battle and can see clearly – my goodness what a beautiful view it is.
Won’t you come and join me on top of the hill?
[If you are feeling stuck, unhappy or uncertain about where you currently are in your life, whether it’s your work, relationships or your own beliefs about yourself, I am here to help. Head on over here.
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*Image by Stevie Tao